Gifted?

I'm echoing DW. She knows. I know. Word, sister.

Yeah. I was in the gifted programs, too.

Started in middle school.

They called the program "Wings." They did some science stuff that was interesting, over and above what my peers were doing in regular classes. But it was boring. I asked questions about stuff that was outside of the box and got astonished looks in response. Then I shut down. It's just another class. Some of the same stuff I later had to endure in High School—which had plenty of "Special Ed" stuff, but I was supposed to stay amused in the advanced classes. I did take advanced French all through high school. Advanced English for a while. Probably should have stuck with French in college, except for I'm such a geek I thought I was going to be a computer programmer. Couldn't succeed in the programming classes. I couldn't stay tuned during the lectures, so I got lost.

The fact of the matter is that I'm doomed in traditional academic classes. If you want me to memorize words or sequences or give feedback on what I've just read—yeah, I'll ace all of those tests. And I eventually learned math really well—but not during my classes. You can't keep my attention in math classes. Try. So in middle-school I got bounced down to regular math. 7th grade I bet I got mostly A's. But it was downhill from there. I think I managed to graduate in the top quarter of my class—but considering the C's and D's I got, that surprised me.

Gifted. Yeah, so fucking what.

I'm so gifted I have to medicate myself, and I can't even remember to do that.

Took my antidepressants wrong today. My headache wasn't even a loud enough siren to remind me to take my meds.

So I have been an emotional roller coaster all day. That explains a bit of it.

Adderal. I love that stuff. It helps tons and tons. Except:

I have to remember to make an appointment with a new psychiatrist. I had a good one, but he only practices on the other side of town, where I will not be going anymore because I don't work on that side of the universe anymore.

Haven't had Adderal now for a good month. Can't get it now that I'm thinking about it because the office isn't even open regular business hours and the answering service is offsite and can't make appointments, but they can make referals for an emergency. I'm not about to interrupt some doctor's dinner because I forgot to make an appointment for four weeks.

So some day, when I remember to make an appointment, I'll be able to get a prescription that I hopefully remember to fill, that I will hopefully remember to take.

Fuck all of you who think I'm going to get addicted to it. I can't remember to take it. What kind of addict has that problem?

Oh, and the *really* cool thing is that Adderal is chemically amphetamine salts. Controlled substance. I can only ever get a 30 day supply. That means I have to remember to regularly call a doctor to get a prescription. Which works as long as I have another appointment scheduled. Which I don't.

So I'm gifted. I would rather not be.

I would rather not have to require medication so that my mind works normally. I would rather not have to live up to those expectations.

But the IQ tests don't lie. And people make a big deal about them like I'm supposed to be Mozart or Einstein or have been to some impressive Ivy-league school.

Nope. I have a trade school degree. I can pass those kinds of classes.

Do they have trade school classes for bass guitar? I have enough angst to be a rock star.

Whatever.

I forgot to take my Wellbutrin. Let's leave it at that.

Oh, and before I forget—Is there an ADD community somewhere where people forget stuff but it doesn't matter? 'Cause if you've got ADD, man I've got your back.