Obsession

I have to admit. She still pops into my head at inopportune times.

I find my gaze drawn this way and that. Someone is wearing something the color of her winter jacket. Someone's hair is like the color she dyed hers, and it's a similar length.

It makes me upset. I don't want that. The feeling of can't. Shouldn't. I would if I could. I didn't.

It makes me feel weak. I hate that I ever felt strongly. I loved it.

Yeah.

If I knew now what I didn't know then, my life would be dramatically different. Although I won't pretend it would be better.

I'm pretty sure it would have been a crash and burn. I console myself with imagined failure.

I loved making eye contact. It made me feel like there was something.

Sweet agony.

Mercifully, I don't have to be anywhere near anymore.

I keep hoping I'll run into her.

I want to forget.

Do you know how to turn it off?

"When the minutes drag..."