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January 4, 2004
Music
Music is very evocative to me. A song will bring back to me many memories of things happening in my life when I first became aware of it. Times. Places. People. Fragrances.
"My Kinda Lover"
McDonald's. The little girl slipped away from her group of friends to a table nearer to mine. Pretended to be looking at the contest game board in her hands. Asked me if I had just seen whatever movie was playing in that town. I shook my head "No," then glanced at my parents who were sitting across the aisle. I didn't know what their reaction would be and frankly I didn't want to deal with anything remotely embarrassing.
She looked at me and followed my glance to my parents.
Her eyes got big and she darted back over to her friends.
My mother so much as assumed I had no idea what had been happening.
To the contrary, I was very aware. Not that I would necessarily have known much about what to do—at that time in my life. And offended she would think I was oblivious. In fact, I lived for that sort of attention.
...
Or the week away at that church camp. Yeah, well, as usual I found someone to fixate on romantically. I always did. In fact I managed to get two friends fighting for my attention.
I wrote to one of them a few times. But it really pissed off my mother. I was 13 and she was 15. Clearly that girl would want nothing but to corrupt her baby boy.
But I wanted to be corrupted. That was the whole God-damned point.
Sadly that would have to wait.
She lived about an hour away, and at that time in my life it might just as well have been another continent.
[+] Posted by Sinner, who was transgressing at the time (January 4, 2004 5:53 AM) by hearing evil. [+]
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Ahh, 13... that age when we start to crave corruption. In a way, I still crave it to start happening to me, someday.
Music does much the same for me, but even more potent is smell....especially certain colognes. One whiff and instantly I can be taken back to the moment I tried so desperately to preserve in my mind. Names and sometimes even face aren't important it's what I was doing.....to them, or having done to me.
You describe it so well....the moments that memories bring back so powerfully, just on the basis of a scent or phrase of music. And I thought I was the only one who lives for those things. Some of those memories are more important than the present.
Funny how it all interconnects, isn't it?