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March 28, 2004
You're Beautiful
So much to say and no time.
I've calmed down a bit. I've rested more. I've worked out the last two mornings.
A weekend full of activity has kept my mind away from darker places. But I still am talking to a Doctor tomorrow. I was too close to the edge on Friday night. Other depressed people on meds tell me I shouldn't have to live like this—that they no longer have issues like this.
I'm not saying I think meds will resolve my addictive issues, but maybe I won't have so many dark thoughts?
I don't know what the answer is. I'm still searching.
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
I owe many email replies.
[+] Posted by Sinner, who was transgressing at the time (March 28, 2004 9:05 AM) by speaking evil. [+]
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I think the concept of "addictive behaviour" is very popular today to cover a myriad of sins. My question is, is addictive behavior not often an attempt at self-medication to mitigate a symptom of a deeper seated problem?
In this specific case, I'm thinking.... distraction. Strong feelings and intense experiences are good ways to distract oneself from deeper, more painful feelings. You can't think while your cumming.