May 2004 Archives

Tarot

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CHARIOT

CHARIOT

"the generator, motivator, traveler"

You are gifted in seeting ideas, projects, and life experiences into motion and can accomplish many things simultaneously. You dislike things that are routine and show a resistance to specialization. You have a strong introspective nature and display a need to move in the true inner direction of the spirit. The charioter holds the Wheel of Fortune which means that he can turn any direction with fortunate results.

Which Major Arcana of the Thoth Tarot deck are you?

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Analysis

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I wish I had been asked some of these questions closer to when I actually woke up. But I'll do the best I can:

'Survivor' Aspects

It was like the game, but it wasn't. There was difficult stuff to be accomplished, but I don't remember a winner or loser. I don't remember doing so much as seeing. That's a common element of many of my dreams: I see myself observing things but not understanding why they happen. What I remember was outdoors and involved building structures. Was it my team or was I there but only watching? They were all girls, on my team. The competition got people dirty. One last element of the game meant one girl was unable to take a shower. Another woman/team-mate/my partner? took her to a hotel room to get cleaned up. There weren't any cameras, it just sorta resembled what I've seen on TV.

Lots of Girls

All of my dreams involve girls. Well, let's just say a majority that I remember. I feel emotionally close to them all. Sometimes there is a great deal of sexual tension, but rarely full-on sex. I've never had an orgasm while dreaming. Although as a teen boy, I did have "wet dreams." I never remembered any sexual dreams from that time in my life. My assumption was that I didn't have sexual dreams. The many girls were in the Survivor part of the dream. I don't recall that any of them especially stood out to me in that dream. I only find it remarkable in that I seemed to be the only boy.

Girls—women—have always been alluring to me. I used to be particularly bad at letting my gaze follow attractive women. That's been... corrected. Mostly. But don't think I don't notice. God, do I love to make eye contact! I'm sure I'm just scaring people, but I hope not.

I remember one time, being at a public flower show in an auditorium of a large local department store chain. I found myself wondering off slightly away from the crowd in the same direction as this attractive woman I had been making eye contact with. We were both on a trajectory to "look at" the same group of flowers. I had the urge to start talking to her when suddenly I realized what I was doing. I sort of stopped dead and started to look around. Whatever male she was with was looking none-too-happy and also looking at me. I just turned around... and walked back to my wife. I was there with her, after all. We had been married for five or six years by then. I don't think she saw anything. It's not unlike me to pause too long in a place like that or sometimes move ahead alone without thinking... so I'm sure she must have assumed that.

Maybe I'm supposed to learn I can't have them all or something... I don't know. Clearly I have issues. My addiction to fantasy imagery is certainly just a symptom of something else, no doubt.

That reminds me, I'm supposed to check out a book called "Don't Call It love." My sponsor says that most of my personal background is textbook for a predisposition to addictive behaviors. You know, I used to think (in my teens) that I was so much better than people who smoked or drank or did drugs. I did none of those things. Until college. In college I drank stupid wine coolers. God did I feel like crap after that! But I've still never smoked a cigarette. I have smoked Marijuana, but I was like 32 or 33 at the time. The mushrooms I ate that night had a much more profound effect than anything else I've ever had before or since. I would do them again any time... You see?

Just don't offer me a cigarette. I would probably like it and I don't need that. They killed my grandfather. He stopped several times. When I smell cigarette smoke, I have good associations with my grandfather. So don't offer me a cig. I find it very difficult to say no. But most people see me as straight-laced and uptight. So that usually isn't a problem.

Building a House?

It started as a really simple room, but over the course of the dream it became increasingly sophisticated. None of the work happened on front of me, and the work had finished before the characteristics of the room changed. The room was dark and simple. I single coat of paint over unfinished wood. Curtains had been put in the windows, but had the same coat of paint on them. Although it was bright outside of the room, it was dark inside.

I remember the main builder of the room (He looked like Ethan from Survivor Africa) taking measurements to see of we had met the requirements of this part of the competition. I complemented him on the placement of one of the ceiling lights, because although it was not in the center of the ceiling, it had been placed directly over the center of the conversation area we and several team-members were seated in, then. My Dad was one of the people in the room. I don't know why, other than that he is the one person in my life who has ever taught me tradesman-related skills. I don't recall interacting with him directly, though. He seemed concerned with how things were proceeding, sort of watching or monitoring. I guess it seemed good that he was there—it wasn't negative.

I remember being concerned with the placement of lots of other lights in the room. I demonstrated to myself as much as to others why they were necessary. They lit areas better than a single overhead light could have.

'Cafeteria Girl'

This part seemed like history repeating itself. It looked like her, the one I obsessed over originally when I first wrote BAMS on Blogger.

It felt like (way back then) she was still interested in me at some level. I'm sure that's just wishful thinking on my part. Yet, it seemed like I got more than one chance to interact with her when she could easily have avoided me had she wished to do so.

There were many things I wanted which conflicted in me. First of all, I did not want to be involved romantically or even just sexually with anyone at work. I know how people gossip and I didn't want to be the subject of it. I didn't want to be seen as a cheater, or as opportunistic. And I really did not want to be sued with sexual harrassment if I was oh-so-wrong. So I thought the only thing I could do was have all of these insane feelings but tell no one. Some of my friends knew some of it, but to my knowledge, none of them knew all of the details. If they do know, I don't want to know. I would be embarrassed at thinking at was really hiding anything.

In the dream, I knew she was in the crowded cafeteria. I saw her on the way in. The lines inevitably moved in such a way that she and a were face-to-face for a moment. I showed no emotion on my face, just tried to shut her out. I'm too afraid to find out I was wrong. Too afraid to find out I was right and didn't take the chance.

I'm not certain what the dream she was in had to do with the others, if anything. Clearly I still haven't come to terms with the issues my feelings for her raised in my life.

The Spanking

It was dark in this part. Literally black. I didn't see or hear as much as feel. I remember striking again and again, not feeling that I was doing it in a way that I was happy with. I remember the feeling of the muscles in my arms and shoulders as I swung. I used both hands but at different times. I remember finally thinking that I had learned where to position myself, how to swing, and how to hold my hand. I didn't want it to just make noise, or just to be a hit. I wanted it to sting. I knew I was doing it righ when it hurt my hand. There was a specific sensation I was looking for. When I got it, then I was done.

I don't know what all of this means, really. There was so much more that happened in my dreams, but those are really the details I can remember.

Does that help?

I Neglected to Mention

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In my dreams,

How I strived, in the darkness,

To perfect the way my hand struck your bottom.

Because I wanted you to feel it.

And I wanted to feel it, too.

Holy Cats!

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My lifestyle is catching up with me—I just slept for 16 hours!

And did I dream!

A survivor-style competition.

Lots of girls.

Building a house.

My father.

The one girl—who had been popping into my brain a bunch, recently.

A cafeteria where I couldn't avoid her. But I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge her.

I guess there were a lot of different dreams, but you know how they always seem connected?

Looking for clues—I'm open to your interpretation.

Not Gone, I swear!

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I don't plan to disappear or to change the character of my posts. They just may become irregular for a while until I adjust.

I've always wondered if people subscribed to my feeds. So far as I know, I can't track hits the same way as with the Sitemeter tool I use. Does anyone know if TypePad gives you any specifics?

Self-Imposed

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I had to try it. So far it's working.

Basically, after 10 pm, I'm not online at all. I disconnect my 'net connection.

No one made me do it. No one is holding it over me. But I need to be able to see what life is like, more-or-less without a 'net connection. I need to be able to get my life back.

For the last many years, I've spent 10-60 hours a week in front of my computer primarily surfing porn sites and seeing how long I could keep myself just on this side of orgasm.

It's only been in the last two years that I've been writing blogs and becoming less anti-social. I don't see blog-writing as avaoidance. I don't see blog-friends as imaginary. This is real. You are real. I can't touch you, but I would if I could.

The best I can do right now is email. I won't be in chat much. I'll answer email when I can. I'll post when I can.

Be patient with me, please.

I need this.

Pratfalls?

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I'm as good at slap-stick as the next fellow...

But I don't think that's why you're here.

Only Thinking of You

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Reading the comments to the previous post, most of you have it right.

I could go post by post and tell you exactly who I had in mind, or what fantasy I was having, when I made the post... But that's not the point.

You make my eyes half-lidded with lust, and that's what keeps me going.

Pictures of You

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I had a really hard time going to bed last night...

I found myself wanting much, much more.

Cruel, but so delicious.

Because I want you terribly.

And you are not here.

If I come, it is not the same as if I came with you.

It is as a stroboscopic flash is to a long, dark night.

Comfortably Numb

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The shocking thing, to me, is the extent to which I've been living almost literally inside my head most of my life. I always assumed I was different or that people just didn't understand me.

In therapy two weeks ago, my therapist suggested I should let on about what I'm thinking more often, like I do on my personal web site.

Ouch.

Yeah, that was a healthy reality check—wherein an analogy to technology was used to help me understand Real Life (tm). Or maybe it just means I'm a geek. The important thing is I haven't clicked on anyone yet. Don't get me started on interfaces.

So, but, anyway, I am slowly opeing myself up to the world. Slowly learning to feel and learning about dealing with emotions... and discovering that there might be one or two people who are tremendously pissed at my being emotionally absent lo these many years.

"You are talking to a man who has laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom and chuckled at catastrophe. I was petrified." -Professor Marvel

In other relationship news, I am not committed enough, not encouraging or reassuring enough, and may have started fixing myself too late. That's incentive! But we're not bitter... Seriously, though, I have to not be so codependant and let her feel how she needs to feel. She's probably going to be pissed at me for a while, and she'll have to decide what she wants to do about it.

I think that's where plenty of my troubles begin—my unwillingness to have people experience negative emotions about me. I always want to rationalize about how it's... not really my fault, if only you could see that. But I'm going to try really hard not to do that anymore. Now that I see that behavior for what it is, I hope I can learn to release the fear of confrontation or abandonment that lies directly behind it. And the self-loathing that lies behind that.

These last few weeks have been pretty rough, but I'm moving off Wellbutrin, staying on Effexor and Strattera, and increasing my dosage of Depakote. So far, I'm pretty happy with the results. And I want to thank everyone who encouraged me too look at my depression a little differently. Yeah, I still have some shit to work out, but at this point it feels do-able, instead of like some unbelievable mountain to move.

Thanks for listening.

Does It Make You Feel Dirty?

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Do you know how much I like it?

Are you my good girl?

Fiendish, Mischievous, Lascivious

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Some of my favorite words.

The best thing is:

I'm not the only one.

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I Don't Wanna!

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But if I don't stop acting out... I'm going to lose this opportunity.

Because I can lose so much time so easily. And that almost always means lost sleep. Or time I could have spent making someone else know her importance in my life.

Or maybe that's the issue. But how would I know for sure. I've been so detached. Was I ever attached?

I know I did stuff because it seemed like the right thing to do.

I don't want to commit to a choice, because I don't want to be wrong. All the while simultaneously killing myself with indecision. Ugh.

Did I mention I forgot my meds at home this morning? Can't easily get to them, unfortunately. Might need to ask permission for a long lunch or something.

Ouch.

So Delicate

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That place.
Warm and wet.
The slightest motion of my tongue sends cries from your lips.
The closer you get...
The slower I go.
I want you to know nothing but this moment.
Then, and only then...
Will I let you come.

Compartmentalization

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Therapy today. It's hard to please the normals. Do I behave suspiciously? Yes. Dammit.

"Why did you check out that book? Are you 'in to that' now?"

I was curious, OK? I've read books by pagan lesbians and that didn't fundamentally alter my nature, so why would studies in BDSM?

"Is that against your 12-step group rules?"

Fuck! They're not damned Nazis. Yeah, it's titillating and therefore pushing it.

But whatever. I've been designated as dangerous to put one's faith in.

You've been warned.

Meanwhile I've been told I am to meet with my sponsor over coffee. Yeah, I don't have one yet. Haven't started working the steps.

I'm completely not prepared to announce to people that I have released my lust and am letting God work through me. Don't get me wrong—I feel an affinity with most members of the group... I'm just not religious. So. Not. Religious.

A guy in McDonald's today was talking too loud. He said soomething like "If it wasn't for Jesus, I wouldn't be able to love you." All I could think to myself was re-read your scripture, asshole. I think Jesus' message might have been different than that.

I've been baptised and confirmed in the Lutheran church. I know a little about the bible. A little about Luther. Memorized a bunch of stuff for a formal oral exam. And I'm not impressed. A church is no more or less good than any single person in it. They have meetings about meeting financial goals. They have politics and gossip. They worry about how they look compared to others.

I have known a few truly good-hearted and genuine people in the churches I have known, but too few, really.

I don't want to say God. I want to say All-That-Is, or the cosmos, or something. Something that hasn't been co-opted to mean something less than it once did.

If you want to talk about One-ness, or The Void, or The All, I think I can grasp that. Or even a deity from the pagan traditions.

But saying that God is working through me just seems pompous, elitist, and judgemental. Not to mention a little cuckoo.

I need to get more sleep.

This is all crazy-talk.

And I found myself looking at the shape of her body and imagining what she would look like jumping up and down on my cock.

These things occur to me.

As does the third-grade teacher in bondage.

Hmm.

Lurking on My Own Blog

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I've been making some behind-the-scenes changes. Unless you're in the habit of clicking on all of my page links regularly they will largely have gone unnoticed—which is as it should be.

Meanwhile, it's been pointed out to me that it's not possible to see my whole blog at once on some smaller or differently-abled equipment. ;) My layout looks good (IMHO) at a screen resolution of 1024x768 or better. My intent is to modify my layout to better accomodate varying screen and browser widths. I am open to suggestions or hints, for you coders with mad skillz.

Much love, as always!

Happy Mother's Day!

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That goes both for you who are already mothers as well as for those who I might like to make a mother.

Hope that doesn't sound too strange—I only mean it lustfully.

Been Thinking

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I listened to side one of many today.

Took me out of time. Out of traffic. Where I was seemed inconsequential—I was completely absorbed.

I thought about the words he spoke. Wondered what the reaction on your face would have been at the time. Wondered how much of it you met with hope versus skepticism. Strange to hear. He sounded advanced in years—for some reason I didn't expect that.

He must have been a chain smoker—or very nearly. I heard him tapping his pack. I heard the unique but ubiquitous sound of the lighter. And the heavy, sighing exhalation that only follows a good long drag.

Sounded like there must have been an antique clock in the room, keeping time yet not letting it run over.

Yet, in certain things, I want him to be right. Places where I saw myself. The shy snob accusation made me roar with the laughter of self-recognition. My secret ain't so secret. Clever bastard.

Part of me says wait for the future. It will come soon enough. And part of me sings Frankie, who say "You've got to shake your tail to make a wave!" I think predictions can come true if you want them to. There are many forces beyond our control, but we still have plenty to say about what happens in our own lives.

So while the ink of several chapters in the books of our lives has long-since dried, there is still plenty of room left for an amazing plot-twist or two.

And the story loses some of its charm if the last few pages are read first.

I am exhausted tonight. I fell asleep watching TV, which usually keeps me mesmerized yet alert for hours on end.

I'm going to seek the oblivion of slumberland.

If I'm lucky I'll come across the little one with the piercing gaze and fine hair... and the beautiful place from where she came.

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The Worst Thing

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The worst thing about being an addict is the damnable ability to convince myself that it's not a problem.

Fooling myself. It's humbling.

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Cunning Linguists

About the Author

I call myself Sinner.

This blog was born of religious, moral and sexual angst. I generally blog on those topics, or on whatever might bubble up from my id.

Some other personal descriptors include: ADD. Pervy. Sexually Dominant. Risk-Aware. Betrothed.

See also:

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from May 2004 listed from newest to oldest.

April 2004 is the previous archive.

June 2004 is the next archive.

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