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May 21, 2005
My Contracting Position Ended Today, Unexpectedly
Which I feel is nothing but clear evidence that I suck.
What I was told is that the project I was assigned to was not funded and they did not have room for everyone.
You know what? There is every possibility that's what happened. I may never know.
But the voices in my head are shouting telling me that I wasn't good enough. That I should have done something about feeling so overwhelmed. That I should have been more perfect. That I should have somehow guessed whatever it was that would have kept me there.
But, I didn't like working there. Honestly. I didn't want to go there.
I'm just in shock and panic.
And depressed. Fuck.
[+] Posted by Sinner, who was transgressing at the time (May 21, 2005 1:23 AM) by thinking evil. [+]
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Tell the voices in your head to STFU. Everyone gets overwhelmed, and there's no way of knowing exactly what one thing they wanted done perfectly that you couldn't/didn't do.
Look at it as the Universe listening to your soul - you didn't like it there, so now you have an opportunity for the *perfect* job to land in your lap.
Good luck to you.
Don't stress it, baby.
I know there's probably a hellofalotta panic going through you (what with the economy and all) but there's a job out there just for you, this just gives you the chance to hunt it out.
Perhaps you can be some old betty's sexy kept man?
We had a job like that, and it really. got. to. us. We were so burned inside from not wanting to go every day.
I'm a little panicked, But I know I can get more work. It's just a question of how soon.
Thanks, you guys!
On being kept? Never tried it... but willing. ;)
~grin~ I'll keep you...
(and by "keep" I mean read your blog often)