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May 20, 2006
Missing What Was, Wanting For More
It dawned on me today that what I love about blogging and reading blogs is the sense of the personal.
Much of this I realize is inferred. On my part or yours.
But I pulled back emotionally from what I put into this blog some time ago and it really hasn't been the same since.
Part of it I realize is that I haven't been able to contribute to the immediacy as much myself. When I started writing, I kept a window open at all times to dash off a quick horny thought as soon as it occurred to me.
Well, I don't know if I can do that… My work situation is not now as it once was—Privacy and what not.
And I've been trying to keep up on two jobs, so lately when I get home after the second job I have far too few hours left to eat, blog, fuck, and sleep. I usually end up short-changing myself on two of three of those every night. My porn collection is also not growing very quickly anymore…
But I love this blog and what it means to me. It's a badge of my rebirth.
I'm sorry if I alienated you some time ago with my talk of sexual addiction. I think it was just one more sign of how I was willing to be convinced there was something wrong with me.
On the other hand, coming through the experience, I feel like I'm stronger and better able to know for myself what is good and right.
Sex and sexuality is good and right. Worthy of worship and praise and thanksgiving. It is the reason we are here and maybe the purpose for which we exist. Maybe. To love and to breed love. You know?
[+] Posted by Sinner, who was transgressing at the time (May 20, 2006 6:02 PM) by thinking evil. [+]
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I did stop reading you during the "sexual addiction" phase, hoping that you'd come through it, not wanting to judge, but having no interest in reading about someone smart and sexy being brainwashed. But you are a compelling fellow, and I'm back, and clearly I'm not alone.
Well, I didn't stop reading you, since my husband (now ex) was also trying to make me feel like something was wrong with me.
I'm glad to see you coming back into your own skin.
I stopped for awhile because I didn't feel like it was you anymore. I'm back. (And you may not know who I am since I've blogged at so many different sites now...email me if you're not sure.)
Thank you for being straight with me.