« Light in My Loafers | Home Page | I Love to Whisper in Your Ear »
October 27, 2006
Workplace Neuroses
Can I admit that I have issues?
Yeah, so maybe I have admitted to one or two here previously…
But I have to say that I have lived in near constant dread on this contract. That I wasn't doing well enough. That I wasn't doing things right enough. Or fast enough.
I cringe when my supervisor is near, in fear that he is going to call me down for some real or unknown transgression.
My supervisor is a nice guy. Not a great manager, but a nice guy.
This isn't the first time I have felt that way, but the more I imagine my performance may be at issue, the worse off I am. There are times when the fear and anxiety are nearly debilatating. Which means my performance suffers, according to me, and then the worry and the fear gain a greater foothold.
Doesn't seem to matter how old I am or how much experience I gain.
At all times I have the potential to be my most powerful adversary.
One thing has changed though, with age. I'm 38 and sometimes I wonder where the fuck all of those years went. How could I be 38 already? But my point is that I feel increasing urgency to get on with life. My tenure here isn't getting any longer. Life is too short to be ruled by fear. It's too short.
[+] Posted by Sinner, who was transgressing at the time (October 27, 2006 7:11 AM) by revealing evil. [+]
« Light in My Loafers | Main | I Love to Whisper in Your Ear »
Leave a comment