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January 30, 2007
I'm Really Angry with Myself
I feel like I should be doing more creative work.
I don't know what that means, but I feel agitated and I'm not sure what to do about it.
Whatever it is, I feel like I'm not doing enough.
And there is the poisonous word "should," that I just wrote—comparing myself against some ideal which implies that I reject the idea that I am good enough already.
I am for the moment at a loss.
[+] Posted by Sinner, who was transgressing at the time (January 30, 2007 11:47 PM) by thinking evil. [+]
2 Comments
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It is the time of loss when we are most open and fertile. Because stillness is really only the time right before the chaotic explosion.
It will come, that unstoppable flow of creativity and bristling energy.
Thank you for your reassuring words. Things are really quiet for me creatively now--I am waiting for my muse to possess me.
I told the universe I wanted to be a successful writer. I wrote it on a notepad over and over again. I have done this many days.
I don't know what to expect. I am open to the future and possibility.