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April 29, 2007
After Tonight…
Well, you know by now how I eroticize my experiences getting my hair professionally cut by women.
Frankly, I crave skin and touch.
Flower, bless her giant heart, volunteered her services to buzz my hair again tonight. Yes, I really do intend to keep my hair cut that short.
Before she began to cut my hair, she approached me with clippers in hand. Her breasts were at my eye-level. She noticed how taken I was by that fact—and she bared them for me.
Several times while she cut my hair, she pulled my head to her body—to her bare skin.
It was heavenly.
When she finished, I licked her nipples several times each in gratitude.
Then, she took me to the shower.
And cleaned me.
Thoroughly.
No salon I can think of would ever match that.
Yeah.
[+] Posted by Sinner at 10:33 PM :: 3 Submissives [+]
Big Change
For me.
I had gone a full two years without cutting my hair at all.
It was a reaction to stresses in my life—a fuck-it kind of decision. I was broke and couldn't afford to go to the nice salons anymore. With everything in my life that I felt I was not in control of, it was nice to let go of one responsibility.
Plus? I had really liked it in the past when I had grown my hair out. The idea of getting it back in a pony tail really appealed to me. After a year, and for the last year, that had been the case. I wore a pony tail. I kept letting my hair grow.
In a lot of ways it was liberating and validating. I kept getting work despite the long hair, so I felt that my skills and personality were being counted above my appearance.
But I wasn't completely happy with the way it looked. I thought it was nice when it was in the pony tail, but I thought I was kinda scary looking when I let it down. It didn't feel right any more.
So I went and bought some Wahl electric clippers from Target and had Flower cut it all off. I used the #2 attachment, cutting everything to 1/4".
I dig it.
It's been like that for about a week and a half now. I've thoroughly enjoyed all of the reactions people had. People thinking someone strange was sitting at my desk at work. The people feeling so confounded that I would make that dramatic change. Let's of people asking "Why?" or "What made you decide to do it?" Lots of people assuming that it was because Summer is coming.
Nope.
I just wanted to know what it was like to shave my head.
And I also felt that it was a necessary sort of transformation. This is where I get a little weird about it. I felt like the long hair was weighing me down emotionally. I read once about Lenny Kravitz' decision to cut off his dreads, because he felt they were negative energy. At the time I didn't understand what he meant, but writing this today I feel like I get it. I *had* to do it.
I've since reduced the size of my sideburns and the size of my goatee—I decided that for balance my facial hair had to be trimmed with the #1 attachment.
And I've rationalized that I can keep cutting my hair without paying $50 a month for a master stylist. Not that my stylists never deserved it. They did. And more. But spending money like that is not appropriate for me right now.
I look very different, but I like it and all of the reactions have been good.
And Flower likes to rub my head. Heh heh. ;)
[+] Posted by Sinner at 1:43 PM :: 2 Submissives [+]
April 23, 2007
Public Service Blog
An online friend I met once IRL let me know today that by reading this blog she was able to understand and explain some things to a vanilla friend of hers—this friend's friend had some trouble understanding the need for some for some specific implements… in a relationship.
While she (probably wisely) didn't specifically mention this blog to her friend, it's good to know that I can be of service.
;)
I *can* be of service.
This makes me swell with pride.
[+] Posted by Sinner at 11:44 PM :: 2 Submissives [+]
April 22, 2007
Shower
[I changed a couple words, and collated it into a single post]
Shower curtain's open.
I still check myself in the mirror to see where the my workouts are helping. Where I'm narrower, broader. Harder.
I step in and turn on the water. Hot water first, then cold. I want it warm, but not too warm. Ouch. Ouch. OK… Mmmm, perfect.
I bend forward to get my hair wet and water starts running down all around.
I turn myself around in the spray. Chest. Bicep. Shoulder Back.
Rivulets are running everywhere. Down my back. Over my ass. Down my thighs. Calves.
I can feel the water everywhere it goes.
Shoulder. Bicep. Chest. All the way around now. I'm wet from head to toe.
Droplets. Rivulets running everywhere.
I push my chest out concentrating the spray there.
Sometimes the jets of water go right to my nipples.
Almost hurts it's so intense.
That tingling, expanding sensation starts.
I lean back slowly.
As I do, the jets travel down my chest. Stomach. Down.
I spread my knees a little and reach down, cupping my hands a bit to catch water.
Hand over hand I stoke from behind my balls to the base of my cock, pressing it up against my stomach and off the tip.
Hands. Jets of water. Rivulets.
Mmm. Shower…
I stand up then reach back to grab the body shampoo.
It's been years since I had shoulder length hair, but I'm still surprised at how short my hair is now. Close cropped.
Lather is running down my back and chest. Rinsing chases the bubbles down. Front. Back. Between.
Lathering my body now.
With the spray on my shoulders and back, I lather my chest. Left side, then right.
Fingers following contours. Brushing nipples. Tingling. Both hands swirling on my abdomen. My navel. Down.
I feel foam sliding all over. Sliding down.
Both hands between my legs. Lathering.
Around my testicles, over them, pressing and pulling.
Around the base of my cock. Sliding lather to the end.
Hand over hand.
My cock wants to get hard.
My cock's getting hard.
Mm.
Rinsing foam away. Twisting left and right.
The water jets on my nipples make me squeeze the muscles that make my cock my erect.
It's hard.
Hard.
Water running.
Mmm.
I'm lathering my back stretching muscles I didn't know I had.
The water is still streaming down my chest. Running off the entire length of my erect cock. My cock won't be ignored. Water is pounding on it insistently.
Trying to wash. Rubbing my lower back. Over my ass with muscles clenched hard because My cock demands it.
Jesus.
I have to.
I grab the head of my cock.
Foam is running down my back. Sliding over my ass. Sliding where I can only feel it.
Stroking slowly.
"Oh. God." I hear myself say.
I'm stroking and pulling.
"Ungh."
"Mm.”
Sweet Jesus.
I have no idea how much time has passed.
I fully have my fist over my cock. Rubbing. Stroking. God.
Water running down.
Jets on nipples.
All I know.
I wonder what if she was home.
Heard how heavily I was breathing.
Heard the sound of me stroking my cock with ferocity in the water.
Wonder what if she threw back the shower curtain suddenly.
Saw me standing with eyes wide.
Saw my cock throbbing with each heart beat.
Saw water running off the length of it.
What if she put her whole hand around my cock and tugged.
YES!
What if she tugged harder. Pulling me to her, cock first.
GODDESS I OBEY!
What if she knelt down and put her lips over the head of my cock, and gently slid them off.
PLEASE!
What if the water was spraying everywhere getting her wet.
What if her tongue swirled sweetly and she sucked gently.
Sucked harder.
Sucked me in.
My cock is the only thing that matters.
I squeeze more tightly, pull harder.
Where am I?
My legs are shaking so much I might fall.
My ass is squeezed so tight it might squeeze into itself. Pushing my cock out farther, impossibly harder.
I don't know how fast I'm rubbing myself. How hard.
Must. More.
I know it when it happens.
Overload?
Heat?
Light?
It starts vivid at the tip. Glowing exponentially.
Radiating.
I only know "it."
My balls are slammed up against the base of my cock. Can't get any closer.
I am my cock.
I can hear the first jet leave my cock. Hear it hit the tiles in front of me.
Second rockets out hitting faucet handles, water spout.
My entire body pushes the cum out of me.
I keep rubbing.
Cum is all over my hand, dripping off.
Running down my balls.
"Fuck!"
The sensation returns brightly to the tip.
I see my hand stroking myself.
More slowly.
I put my free hand against the wall, leaning.
The shower returns like someone turned the volume back up, took pressure off my ears.
The rest of the world appears like I'm coming back from a blackout.
I'm standing in the shower.
My cock is calming down, water and cum dripping from the tip.
My cum is sliding down the walls.
I rinse off, still shaking.
Wishing she was here.
[+] Posted by Sinner at 4:20 PM :: Submit. [+]
April 17, 2007
Only Now
After two years.
Only now do I realize how much I allowed my ex-wife to define me.
I'm surprised I managed to function as well as I did.
I still feel as though I'm in recovery from that life.
Surprisingly to me, a thunderbolt from the blue was a scene from the series "Sex and the City."
Carrie Bradshaw and Aleksandr Petrovsky have an uncomfortable dinner in NYC with Carrie's friends and their mates. Carrie cringes at what her friends say, knowing how Aleksandr will judge them or see them as lesser. And Aleksandr announces that Carrie is moving to Paris before Carrie had decided to do it, much less tell her friends about it.
I haven't seen most episodes from that series, I'm only now seeing them for the first time in syndication. But that scene was hard to watch. It had the frightening quality of a scene from my own life, in which I felt like a passenger, and not my own person.
I have resisted talking to my ex for months now and it has taken a long time for me to realize that I am simply very angry. I'm angry at the person I was. I'm angry that I allowed myself to be second-guessed and criticized and psycho-analyzed relentlessly. I was never on level footing.
Holy fuck was I 'whipped.
I don't know… I would like to think I know better now. And where I'm at now it is irrelevant, anyway. It's just so not an issue.
It's been embarrassing to realize I didn't have my own goals. The direction I had been fighting so hard to go in really wasn't where I wanted to be, anyway. But I finally feel like a man. And I feel ready to move in my own direction under my own volition.
[+] Posted by Sinner at 9:11 PM :: 2 Submissives [+]
April 16, 2007
She Told Me She Needed My Cock
I took her by the hand to the bedroom and lead her within.
I simply pulled down her pajama bottoms and told her to get on the bed.
…
Sometimes it really is that simple.
[+] Posted by Sinner at 1:37 PM :: Submit. [+]
April 12, 2007
I Love It When
She wags her tail.
[+] Posted by Sinner at 12:46 PM :: Submit. [+]
April 9, 2007
Code of Conduct/Ethics for Bloggers
Nope.
Not here.
Be yourself. Please.
I am not a journalist. I'm a guy who thinks things and writes some of them online.
Thank you for reading.
[+] Posted by Sinner at 9:43 PM :: Submit. [+]
April 8, 2007
Sacred Cows Make the Best Hamburger
I've just found a site that pushes so many of my buttons:
"Sexual Fables offers an alternative history of Western arts and literature."
Mmmm…
[+] Posted by Sinner at 8:29 PM :: Submit. [+]
I Hate to See the Good Ones Go
Lives change. 'Blogs change.
But I wish you happiness.
[+] Posted by Sinner at 1:04 PM :: Submit. [+]
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