I've been trying to make the over-all design make sense, to make it easier to move from section to section, and to make it more obvious that there is more than one way to navigate the labyrinth.
And I wanted a sense of newness while retaining a similar feel.
So there.
That's how my birthday started, early this morning.
She hadn't of course.
But she told me she was much less concerned with that number and much more concerned about my cock.
My first gift, in the wee hours, was falling asleep, contented, in her bosom.
She baked me a cake while I was at work today. I don't even know that I have a favorite cake, but she agonized over the selection. She knew I liked butter cream frosting and cream cheese frosting, but that's about all she had to go on without tipping her hand.
She surprised me tonight by walking down the hall with the cake, candles already lit. She had baked red velvet for me, with cream cheese frosting.
It was delicious.
She says I still have one more gift…
I ran across these Black n Red
I immediately thought "I want one!" and, "Damn, I wish I had thought of that first."
Because I am fond of those colors, you see.
Walking to my car in a parking lot one day this week, I noticed a young woman walking roughly parallel to me. The lot was mostly empty so we were both making bee-lines to our respective cars.
What really drew my eye, aside from the fact that she was wearing a mini-skirt, were her amazingly pale-colored legs.
I was astounded. Here it is late July and her legs looked if they had never seen sun in years. No spots, marks, or freckles. Truly porcelain. I suppose she wears jeans or pants most of the time, because that's a hellacious amount of surface area to put sunscreen on all of the time.
And I'm a leg man, so yes, I kept watching.
But the real treat was once I had made it to my car. I got to see her sit down in her seat and hang her legs out of her open door while she changed from her chunky heels into driving moccasins.
I have no idea who she was, but thank you.
Today at work, someone brought treats for the team. Being timely and a little cute, one of the treats was a large box of cupcakes with little plastic rings on top of the frosting. The pictures pasted on the rings were head shots of Harry, Ron and Hermione.
I picked Hermione twice. Once chocolate and once vanilla. Yin and yang, good and evil, purity and... not.
As I was licking the chocolate from the first ring, after pulling it from its soft, chocolate bed, I began to think... I'm a dirty old man.
Just tell me who dies and how much room there is for either spin-off books and movies, or a heretofore unplanned 8th novel.
Hats off to BoingBoing for possibly the funniest Harry Potter article headline since the release of book 7: Harry Potter Dies on Page 132
Is in the eye of the beholder.
Is a term wielded by those who want you shape or control you.
Is delicious.
I watched The Notorious Betty Page on cable tonight.
What I liked is that it was stylish, but reasonably accurate in its portrayal of the time period. Liked the portrayal of Betty in her sessions, and the hints of the shock and alarm that straight (vanilla) society had and still has concerning BDSM.
I admit that I didn't care for the uplifting ending. Though the movie ends with Betty saying that she was not ashamed, that statement comes while she's holding a bible in her hands preaching on the street.
Seems like it was the socially expedient course of action.
Of course I can't comment on her spirituality, or what she found, but that didn't do anything for me.
I still adore Betty's cheesecake.
I'm not kidding.
I just saw a commercial for pads. The pad was on a roller coaster track.
This was *not* an ad approved by women.
That…
Sometimes, what makes me dive deepest into lust is when I am afraid, or when I am anxious—when things aren't going well for me.
I'm still learning about this and from this.
Psychology Today has another article I like quite a bit. It's called Ten Politically Incorrect Truths About Human Nature.
OK, they had me with the phrase "politically incorrect." I am not a politician. I don't see the need for it. Be that as it may, I also love to be challenged and to be presented with some well-reasoned arguments for why things are the way they are, even if it's not what I want to hear. Things that are counter-intuitive and/or counter-culture fill me with glee.
Asok, the character in the Dilbert comic strip, once said it best in reference to a joke: "It hurts because it's true."
But go. Read it. See if you agree about who really benefits from monogamy, or why humans are attracted to certain types. You will either get really angry, or you will think "Well, that finally explains it!"
I fall into the latter group.
It's not a request for photos of myself, although that's perhaps a way to limit such requests in the future.
Rather, an old acquaintance has inquired as to the availability of my porn collection from remote locations. Namely his house.
In a way, I'm flattered that I'm potentially a go-to guy in an, um, emergency. Yet I also find myself wondering why he might be having trouble finding teh pr0n. My problem was always avoiding it.
I think the main thing is not so much that he couldn't get it, it's just that he doesn't want traces of it on his home network. So if he could simply access what I've collected then his worries are over.
So long as he's not caught with his pants down.
I don't have a lot of exposure to other folks in BDSM. A lot of that has to do with me, and that I don't socially put myself out there. Part of it is that in Minnesota, there don't seem to be a lot of events like there might be in more populous areas.
I do like Minneapolis and St. Paul a great deal. For cities of their size, there is a pretty active and sizable creative community, wonderful museums and theatre, and large gay and lesbian communities…
But sexually, we're pretty closeted up here. The majority of successful businesses that sell sexually oriented products often sell items for fantasy, novelty or entertainment. Like it's disposable. There's no commitment—there is no lifestyle.
There is one store that sells amazing dildos and floggers, but because I have a penis I feel a little outside of their target demographic.
And anyway, the only place I have seen anything like a scene in the Midwest, it was at a goth club that has special nights twice a week where a mistress and her assistant will spend a few minutes with people from the audience. She will flog them or drip wax or restrain them. Not for enough time to put them into sub-space. Nobody came on stage. I felt like it was just a tease. While there were clearly people who are very much in the lifestyle, I feel like the audience was comprised more of people who are voyeurs hoping to catch a glimpse of nude girls. Again, I could be wrong. As I said, socially I don't risk much.
Ah, yes, my point. I do have one.
Last night I came across a Web site about the BDSM lifestyle, one among many that I am finding now that I'm paying attention. In particular, I found an essay about Doms. I won't paraphrase or quote it here because of the author's concern over copyright, but the mental and emotional states the author described were states that I have experienced. He described thoughts and fears that I have. So finally, I do not feel like I must be some sort of insecure freak in the spectrum of male dominants. Whether or not this article describes all Doms is irrelevant to me. I do feel that now I understand why women who know Doms would describe me as one.
And finally, I can let go of wondering if the insecurity I experience means that I am not.
I needed to know that.
I feel like I can move on. And grow.
Is a weird phenomena.
It's not necessarily a form of communication. It's not necessarily a form of broadcasting or publishing. It's not necessarily a way to catapult yourself to stardom. It's not a way to find a mate or a hook-up.
And yet I know that it can be all of these things.
It is distancing and intensely personal.
It's shockingly easy. It's amazingly difficult to be consistent.
I was struck with these thoughts as I clicked through my list of links. So many people with amazing voices and points of view come and go. Some sites just suddenly disappear. Domain names are released, blogs are deleted or abandoned.
It's like when a good friend moves away. Without telling you.
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