I was wondering if you were still around the blogiverse. We have much in common, you and I. You've probably forgotten me already.
Although, to be fair, it has been many years since I have shown my face around these parts.
I recently re-acquired my blog name and am off posting again. Things have gone to shit in my life yet again and I figure it's good to bare your soul.
Glad you're still around...hope to hear from you ;P

I'm still here. I never left, although I have up and moved a few times. Apparently the trail of breadcrumbs was adequate!

Good to know you're still there, and that I'm not the only one who can't quit blogging!

When my sister lost my nephew's pacifier - it was a week from hell. He screamed, he ranted, he threw fits over that little piece of plastic. Then it stopped. When it was found, under a sofa, washed and given back to him, he didn't want it anymore.

Think of the undesirable behavior as a habit. Think of it as an addiction. When you reach to behave a certain way, don't. Hold yourself in. Remind yourself that there is a reason you don't want to slide down that slope into whatever it is... and don't do it. This part takes a lot of practice. Eventually, you've trained your (moist, robotic) self to behave differently.

Of course, consider the source.

Sometimes it's the simple analogies are the most profound. Thank you for sharing one that works on so many levels.

It also helps to be reminded that sometimes the best reaction is no reaction; it is OK to simply stop.

I don't think most of us can change very much from who we are. It is a long road, and you have to start with small things and take it day by day. I have changes I need to make, but I resist. I think its because I am afraid to lose who I am even if who I can become is better...

Eden

It's very difficult. It really takes time to identify those emotional triggers and work on reprogramming ourselves. Particularly, when we've been operating in that way for years and/or decades.

You have to recognize it is a progression of little steps. Little baby steps towards wholeness. You will see new areas where you need to work on an ongoing basis, and then struggle to overcome. And then, when you've gotten past those issues, you will identify new areas that need work. It is an ongoing process that takes a long time.

Eden,

That's one thing about being a human, that we can see traits as desirable, that we do wish to integrate into who we are. And on the same token we can see things about ourselves that we don't think are working anymore.

That's what this is about--I don't want to shame myself anymore.

I do hear what you are saying. There are perhaps intrinsic aspects of ourselves that won't be moved, that are who are to the core. But how can I know which parts these are unless I make some attempt against them?

Your comment brings to mind a favorite quote attributed to Nietzsche, "Be careful lest, in casting out your demons, you cast out the best thing that is in you."

Hopefully, here, that's not the end result!

~S

Milf,

Yes. Yes. Yes. This blog definitely is a document of two steps forward, one step back--through the last four years.

I agree with everything you said.

I believed I was a work-in-progress when I began writing here, and I believe it today.

Lives and personalities are vast and interconnected. It's hard to address one thing without seeing how it is connected to another or to many others. That alone is daunting and occasionally overwhelming.

Yet, I continue to believe change and progression is possible.

~S

(Trying to ignore how hot the phrase 'moist robot' could be)

Anything that can be programmed can be reprogrammed, it can take a while, especially if we sabotage ourselves by expecting things to go badly. (see NLP etc.)

Perhaps if you manage to focus the rewards of your new way of looking at things, and seeing other people afresh, it'll come.

Hope it all goes well, I'm a new reader to this blog and want to see plenty more good stuff!

Fluence,

I agree. The one therapist who ever told me anything useful and gave me tools to take control of my life was a practitioner of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (which ironically in acronym form could be confused with Cock and Ball Torture, but I digress).

The point has been to be aware of my thoughts and to stop being a victim of them. I learned that I can challenge my thoughts, I can prove my thoughts and assumptions wrong, and I can replace them with ones that serve me better.

My understanding of NLP is not as good, but I understand it is an additional set of techniques to change your brain.

What strikes me as one of the most amazing and empowering things at all is that you do have the ability to shape, change and color your world.

The hard part is picking a path.