Black As My Soul: Nome de Plume Nouveau

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September 30, 2007

Nome de Plume Nouveau

Many of you got to know me as Soulless, and, for you, I may always be that. I can accept and understand that.

I chose the name 5 years ago because I was so very depressed and I felt so very wrong for falling in love with a woman who was not my wife, and for wanting so much more in my life than my (now ex-) wife would tolerate.

And so I felt intolerable and wrong and I blamed myself for everything.

Well I know better, now.

And I am a lot more accepting of my own desires and the things I want in my life. This name-change is an external acknowledgment of internal changes you've seen here over time.

I live with an amazing woman who loves porn as much as I do, who knows more about BDSM than I do, and who sees me as a man she would like to have a family with.

So I don't have to be apologetic: "Well, I don't have a soul, so that's why I am how I am..."

In the eyes of many of my contemporaries in American culture, I am a sinner. However, I do not feel spiritually bereft, I do not feel the need to go to a confessional, nor do I feel the need to apologize.

When I found the definition of the word sinner that I mentioned earlier, it finally clinched for me a new label I felt good about applying to myself.

And so it is. I have changed my name here to Sinner.

Over time, I will be modifying or dropping other old accounts to reflect this.

Please stay in touch.

[+] Posted by Sinner, who was transgressing at the time (September 30, 2007 1:10 PM) by speaking evil. [+]