A young woman at work was walking around with a jewelry ad torn from a magazine. Specifically, it was a large picture of a very specific ring design. I don't remember the make and I thought it looked hideous so I've been trying to block it out.
But she was asking people, "If I put this on my boyfriend's car seat, do you think he will know what it means?"
Internally I shuddered. But I kept my poker face. I simply nodded "Yes."
I wish I would have said "It means you are a princess."
When your t-shirt has a blingy angel-wing over each breast...
Well, I'm going to look.
I'm just saying.
I've been wrestling with dark moods again.
On Friday I started to consider therapy and medications again.
Briefly.
Then I remembered the pain and hassle of monthly or bi-weekly or weekly appointments. First, and regularly, with the psychiatrist for simple med checks, and then even more with the prescribed therapy. Trying to convince the therapist you are for real. Figuring out the therapist has no clue, either. The endless trips to the pharmacy. The insurance bureaucracy. The pill-minders. The relentless schedule. The loss of erections.
And that's a layer of crap I just don't want or need in my life right now.
I'll change a lot on my own to avoid all of that, thank you very much.
Sometimes the help you can get is not the kind of help you need.
Moving on.
Devi's voice surprised me on the way to job two tonight.
I had downloaded several files of her singing acapella, years ago. I saved them in my iTunes library. Today one came up in random rotation.
Brought a big smile to my face.
Yeah, I practice BDSM in the bedroom. Mostly. I have a few friends in RL who know I am kinky. I don't talk with my parents about it. I prefer not to know about their sex life, and likewise I think sharing anything about mine would be creepy.
But for some reason, for some people, this disqualifies me from being a "true" BDSM practitioner.
But I ask you, is a gay man any less gay if he only sucks cock in the bedroom, if he doesn't talk about what he does with his parents or children, and if he tones it down at work?
I don't know. Maybe the homosexual community has angst like this, but I'm a breeder so I don't have any insight.
It just seems silly and misguided.
Real. Who are you to tell me what my real is?
Whatever.
I suppose I shouldn't let the discussion list trolls get to me.
You are driving me away.
The judgement and idealism is unrealistic and unnecessarily harsh.
We suck as a community.
All of us. Suck.
Please stop with the suck.
Love each other and learn from each other. Anything else is destructive.
Stop.
Please.
Stop.
BV emailed out of the blue, today...
She sent a link to the video for a song called "Pray for Me," by SIXX:A.M. Yes, that Sixx! Apparently, he has been to hell and back...
The video is shot in black-and-white, and parts are NSFW. My favorite part is at the end, the last three or four shots. If you watch the video a second time, it puts the first sequence into a whole different light. It's deliciously evil.
I liked the lyrics, too. Dark is good.
I have to ask: Isn't that Jezebelle Bond?
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